At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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