Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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