You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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