I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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