Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you would pick up someone in the library
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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