And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
