youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
