So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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