Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
