dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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