shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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