Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
