Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
