8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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