There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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