what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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