it wasn't lemon gatorade
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
