I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
