she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
