Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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