There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize