Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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