She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
