I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There r osticjed everywhere
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
