sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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