Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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