Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
