swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
