I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
