Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
