I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize