Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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