***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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