He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
