i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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