Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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