omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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