they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think your dad took our porno
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.