I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?