is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy