Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible