just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.