Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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