I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
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he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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