Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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