Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
