No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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