well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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