he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
