The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
