Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
