when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
