He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.