Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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