But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
