Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize