I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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