ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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