jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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