the condom got lost in my hair
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
